Sleep & Money

sape tau punca tido yg tapernah cukup?walaupon aku da tido mlm(tp tido yg tade quality la.asik2 terbgn),tghari(time lunch an hour or so) dan tido lg waktu mlm.tp smalam aku da tido byk2 pastu mlm mengantuk then this morning i have difficulties to wake up as usual.aku penat la rase penat and not having enuff sleep.sape tau?

dan sape tau mcm mane nakasi tido yg berquality without sleeping pills?aku cam ade je a bottle of sleeping pills but i dont really wanna depend on it as i know it wud lead me to something big seperti continuously consuming that thing.its addictive u know dan lagi satu ubat batuk.sbb aku penah je few weeks tido with the help of the great sleeping pills hehe

dan aku blm penah lg spend my money wisely.sbb aku senang terjebak.

1st thought : diet fairuz diet.bdn da besar mcm gajah.peha da mcm peha lembu.nnt byk duit bole beli baju masa kurus.

setelah beberapa minit

tape la..esok bole diet.duit ni cukup smpi akhir bulan nih..

lps tu kau tgk la mcmane i go thru my days without money.akibat daripada membaziran yg melampau.aku list sat mende yg aku beli

1. daim cake (this lately je)
2. swedish meatballs (ni pun this lately je)
3. rokok (ini mknan ruji)
4. fast foods (ni pon aku da boring)
5. reload cards (ini pon keperluan)
6. online shopping (hmmm ni tade comment)
7. makanan (ni perlu utk idup pe)
8. minyak kete (fuel price naik mcm gampang tau x)
9. unnecessary stuff(ni semua nafsu)
10. books (adoii yg ni aku agak susah nak resist la)

so there goes whole month salary..bijak kan perbelanjaan aku?well done fairuz

lps tu sibuk kasitau mak da tade duit...bile ade duit tak igt plak kat org tua.will move to new house very soon.semua aku nabeli..aku nak list lg

1. Laptop (ni perlu.im still studying kene buat assignment hehe alasan je)
2. katil (utk bilik baru)
3. Study desk (utk umah baru wlupon jarang study)
4. almari baju (wlupon baju aku xbyk aku tetap kene beli)
5. punch bag with stand (ni nmpk cam taperlu je tp aku kene beli)
6. PSP red in color (ni aku perlukan buat masa ni)

in short,i need more money.

Rock Night

bile aku punye malas suda dtg,aku akan delay entry sampai berkurun2..im still in the office tho.got ntg to do at home (snbrnye ade je..kemas bilik,basuh baju basuh pinggan etc) and i got billing to settle off before tomorrow but being a procrastinator i always wait till the last min.dan aku benci buat last min but cudnt help it T__T

moving on to the annual dinner held last saturday at sunway convention centre.konon nabangun awal la kan but...aku sempat layan astro dulu..baring2 then off to the office to print out lucky chair numbers (hahaha naida suh aku buat da seminggu)..so printed out and laminate it.gunting2 then tggu siti.before that..on the way to the office,aku stuck in a bloody traffic jam for an hour n half.mmg babi...da tau ari sabtu tghari yg pi tutup jalan tu nape syaitooooooonnnnnn????bodo giler..angin tul aku.oh nak menambahkan marah,i have to wait for ct for 1/2jam sbb die nak anta her niece to her sis's office,persoalan nye nape ta hantar sblm tu??but nvm since she apologized and aku mls nak take it too serious.

ade lagi la mende nakasi aku marah...we were supposed to take the flyover to get to CP3 tetapi...disbbkan ade je kimak2 yg nakasi aku marah,die tutup jalan tu...aihh...bila aku da passed the other turn tu ade la satu malaun ni naik moto alihkan the cones...babi babi...i was cursing like hell..i have to make u-turn to take the other flyover.da naik tu igtkan bole la kan naik pi CP3 tu...mane tau the turn to CP3 pun tutup.BABI!!!dlm map tu suruh semua staff park kat CP3 tp tutup..aku tanye mamat2 jaga parking tu die kate penuh..hai la babi...lps tu aku kene pusing the whole parking lot utk cari parking..kau tau la pyramid tu semua parking penuh during weekends...aku da memaki2 semua org...aih...we managed to get a parking la..tu pon agak jauh gak..masuk je convention centre,kau tau aku jumpa sape???org2 mane tah..keje kerajaan la kot..penuh gila kat situ..aku igt da salah masuk..rupa2nye there were another 2 function going on at the same time.patut la parking penuh.inform la sakai!tayah aku maki2.

aku masuk ballroom..tgk semua tgh buat preparation.then me n ct were preparing our task,lps tu ade la sekor manusia bodo ni pi sound aku 'weh asal kau tapakai baju committee?tade size eh hahaha'..i was speechless.aku namaki balik BUT aku rase org2 'hebat' dan 'hensem' mcm die taperlu dilayan sbb he s pathetic anyway.da abis we headed to the hotel room..to change together with the boys...lain2 bilik la.aku igt sape la yg rambut pjg2 tu..kau tau sape?artis jemputan,MAY.lps die perform mlm tu br la aku tau die sape hahahaha aku rase cam bodo giler sbb aku ckp ngan the vocalist tu mcm kwn2 je hahaha...

smpi bilik aku namandi...pastu ade la satu incident ni yg membuat kan parut tu tak ilang smpi skang...which is very babi la kan...abis mandi aku tukar baju..haha bukan baju ape pon..took tau the cap,bandana and jacket.aku pakai je baju crew and seluar keje hahaha aku tade duit la time tu.mls nak membazir lebey2.i put on the bandana tp dorang sume kate mcm org bwk motor besar..so aku bukak.selalu nye...selalu nye la yg naik2 moto besar ni bengis,org tua,gatal dan buncit hahaha wlupon aku buncit tp aku tak bengis dan tua..tua sikit la...tp bukan tua sgt la and im definately bukan gatal hehe waited for many people to put on my make up.cik siti kite pakai make up artis la..and the result mmg cantik.depa ade je ajak aku aritu tp aku maleh la..yana turned her hair into striking green..fuiyoo semua rock abis...puteri came out of no where lps berjam2 mencari bilik and she had a quick change and she put on eye shadow kat aku la..mane aku reti mende2 camtu.aku naturun sbb lapar(satu hari aku tamakan okeh) lps tu tade org jaga counter,igt nak tolong la..tetapi ramai yg suro aku tgu.i colored puteri's hair..ok la bukan color pun highlight je belang2 pink n green.the green color turned out to be a total bitch bcz die da tak function di saat2 akhir.aku suro hanie highlight two lines of pink color on my hair.lps t turun...huh kau tau la mase tuh sume cam takenal aku dan aku pon barely regonize them sbb semua cam lain ngan rmbut pjg bagai...

event started,aku kene naik atas stage sebagai pemegang hadiah(ade ke pekataan tu?aku tatau) so was quite bz and im so amazed with the meet uncle hisham band(yana,fzn,rdf,lan,azmi).layaaaaaaan...lain2 band(sa2g,rwg) aku tatgk.bkn sbb aku sombong tanak tgk tp sbb aku tatau lagu mende dorang nyanyi...yg band meet uncle hisham tu sbb aku ikut depa pi jamming...so agak teruja la bile diorg perform.ala lg pun kwn2 kan...excited lebey la.this dinner turned out to be a concert lps semua org melantak.as usual la..kalo ade dinner ke family day ke mmg havoc nak mati...mlm tu ramai mcm kene rasuk hahaha...it was a blast,it was fun..very fun.mls da aku natulis..so gonna post pic below

yana n me

aku da cik sititop management hahaha giler sporting kan boss2 aku

meet uncle hisham L-R (RDF,RA,,Yana,FZN,Anas(ni bkn members ni haha) Front,Azmi

RDF..gila smart gmbr nih

cam concert la plak

L-R; siti semah,yana,me and put (aku je paling pendek :( )

head banging..ni budak warehouse aku jgk hahaha rosak

rock kapakkkk

-.-'

2 days to go...lps tu kene involve in annual dinner.byk la pulak kan aku dpt suggestion but aku tatau sesuai utk aku ke x..but anyway im not gonna wear smtg too revealing or colorful.im all black hahaha

last night i was rushing to klia for viv's departure.she leaving for melbourne to study.fie n phynie was crying like shit when she walked in.i reached there 5mins before she went in.sbb aku tatau jln pegi klia.ya ya i know it sounds stupid la kan but i never been there alone wat..was with wani.fie told me she s leaving for singapore to work.get the experience,get whole bunch of money and come back but uncle told her to play in spore for few months and come back to help him out.hahaha

all of sudden i think..i THINK i miss him.after months not feeling that way,tiba2 aku rase aku rindu dia.i miss him being what he used to be.i miss him being humble.or maybe i was blind back then.maybe i see the good side of him.or maybe he was just pretending being what he used to be.or maybe,i finally realize he belongs to someone else.

Everyday Blues

dad woke me up today
bebel psl aku suka bgn last min
a very cloudy morning
and raining heavily
feel so sleepy

aku benci bila hujan buat aku mengantuk
lg satu aku kehabisan rokok..urgghhhh

guess what the rumours are true wey
Krispy Kreme is opening at one utama HAHAHAHAHAHA
mati la malaysian skali lg beramai2 pegi OU
kalo dulu lps months j.co bukak kat pyramid n pavilion baru aku bole mkn
ni krispy kreme pe tah lg..
babi btol..
ni sume setan2 yg tanak kasi aku stick to my diet

aku benci bila laki yg sibuk suh aku kenalkan depa ngan kwn2 aku
carik la sndiri wey
kau kan..hebat
kau kan...hensem
kau kan...bagus
dan kau juga...da experience sume benda dlm dunia ni
takan la ngan pompuan pn tabole handle
pemalu la sgt...
haaa kan mulut aku da jahat
tetibe jd mak nam memaki hamun org
hish

Tiring Day

i hate the fact that i have to wake up at 6.45am everyday
except weekdays
tu pon kalo tade company event
i was forced to join the event committee tho i ve decided not to take part this year
tp da sume kwn2 yg organized event
terpaksa la aku support :)

went out to ikea with yana today
aku tapenah lg pegi sana
kesian kan??
haih...rambang mata jap
bapak byk beli brg
sakit kaki weh plus headache bile shopping
tau je la yana tu kalo suh pusing ikea 10ribu kali pon die takisah
i was never a shopaholic
i never like to shop like any other girls
i find it tiring and wasting time
aku akan pegi shopping bila aku kena shopping
tade la suka2 nak jalan2 lama
nnt aku pening la
but yana,being a shopaholic herself stops at every department
mati la aku nak ikut die
tp it was fun
thought of looking for some new stuff for my new room
aku da tala 15pcs meatball kat ikea and cupcakes
abis la diet aku T__T

last sunday mom told me the renovation has started
aku tgk pelak umah
kau tau harga renovation tu brape?
tambah lg 2 riban da sama dgn harga umah kat sek20
gila babeng mahal
but i got a room for myself :)
which means i get to put my stuff inside
tade sape bole kacau brg aku
im thinking of buying a punch bag
hehehe bole la aku lepas geram lps ni
tp aku dpt bilik tu kecik je
mcm mane aku nak letak buku2 aku?
katil lg...punch bag lg

aku tatau nak pakai ape time dinner this saturday
nape la depa gatal letak theme every year?
susah tau x aku nacari baju2
kalo aku ni size 0 ke..size 4 ke kan senang
i really need to continue my diet
i managed to get a pvc jacket,black leather cap and a bandana
suar pon aku tade
kasut petah lg
mati la aku...committee plak tu
yg budak2 ni gatal suh aku jd usher director
mati lg la aku

im damn broke T__T

July sucks

im down with flu,cough and fever
how pathetic

i was so busy yday
woke up early
headed straight to the office
did some operation works
took my medication
headed to SA1G
waited for ct and yana to come
fell asleep
woken up by yana
off to Rafi for a drink
waited for many ppl
talked to ex-colleague
he confesed...whatever
at night off to Sg Buloh to support the band
they did a great job
went for late supper
had limau panas
went back
was on the phone for few mins
and fell asleep
the pills really did an awesome job
they put me to sleep in 5 mins or less

i woke up today
thought of joining the Hino Bowling Tournament
but i lepak at parents room instead
i just realized i haven't seen both of them for a week
and i miss my mom
i miss my dad
i was supposed to teman them everyday
since my other siblings weren't home
but i chose to entertain my friends
i chose to prioritized my friends
dont u think im a selfish bitch?

had a conversation with fie,
tot of asking her out for a movie
since it viv's bday
they re gonna celebrate it with the family
she sounded very unpleasent
i asked her why
she said she'll let me know later
not today
am i at fault or sumthing?
it feels very uncomfortable

now,here i am
in the office
updating my blog and facebook
read one of my sis's blog in myspace
i feel bad
she was ill for the past few days
and i didn't even know it
she wanted to talk to me 2 nights ago
but i told her i need my sleep,wasn't feeling well
little that i know,she missed me and the family
and she didn't tell me about it
received her sms last night
saying she wanted to come back home so bad
and only this evening i got to know that no one take care of her
esp when she was sick
she left her blanket at fren's hse
said last 2 night was a very cold night
once again,i feel so selfish
this time as a big sister

when i was driving to Sunway this evening
i picture myself
facing the death of my family members
i can see myself in a very horrible situation
i can see myself getting really wasted and stupid
i see myself being somebody,who i wasnt supposed to be

today
is one of the day
that i feel i dont deserve anyone
that i feel useless and selfish

hopefully
tonight this feeling will go away
or else im gonna stuck in this mood
in a very long time

hopefully
i dont have to feel this way again
at least,not at this moment.

Reality Check

tell me again...
why on earth do u think im interested in u???
gorgeous sgt ke kau??
bagus sgt ke kau???
intelligent sgt ke kau???
so tell me again...
why did u spread rumours about me interested in u??
i wasnt talking about u the other day
so jgn la perasan sgt!!!

to me looks doesnt really matter
well..it does but that is not priority la kan
takan la kau nak tgk muka pecah ari2..
mau muntah nnt..
i like someone who knows how to be flexible
someone who could blend in with my friends
who doesnt show off
who doesnt patheticly make a fool of himself
who doesnt brag about what he has/done
who doesnt care less about being cool
and who is not ashame of what i am
most important,the one who accept me for who i am

and guess what, that is not Y.O.U!

buzz off will ya

and one more thing,just because im being friendly and goes out for a drink with u,it doesnt mean that i like u.and it doesnt mean that im interested to be someone special in ur so-called-pathetic life and definately doesnt mean that u r a friend to me.u're jz a colleague.nothing more nothing less.so jgn nak perasan lebey2...poyo tu slow sikit ya :)

Stupidity

i feel stupid...
the thing that i have done last night was totally pathetic
ni semua nafsu tau x..hahaha

anyway..i ve been doing some thinking,calculations,tambah sana sini...
i think imma quit my job
parents told me not to since i have only 3 semesters left in Uitm
cant take it la
aihhh

im broke for almost 3 months now..
i have no money for new semster's fees
i feel stupid again
i dont think i spent it on food
cz i rarely craving for expensive food these days
and bcz of the bloody hike up of petrol price,i have to limit my journey everyday
damn babi wan
nak pegi pyramid beli j.co suka2 mcm dulu pon pk 2-3 kali
cilake laaa...

there is this one girl, a malay girl
she is freaking annoying..talking to me in malay with chinese slang
i find it annoying bcz she doesnt speak chinese,she doesnt look like one
AND i swear she sounded so stupid trying hard talking to me in malay like a chinese.wtf
and as if its the coolest thing to do,she keeps on talking till i feel like giving her a bitch slap and kick her in front of the loading bay so the lorry wud jz knock her to death.
wtf im so evil
but i hate her.

ok..enuff of my altogether mocking stupid ppl n myself :)