Sunday, August 31, 2008

Heaven

i just finish a regular tab of raspberry & choc estacy from New Zealand Natural

heaven~

i got to meet Ryan again..the whole.was fun was tiring and he is one little cheeky and cute kid.
aih~
tetiba cam rase nak ade anak hahaha tanpa kawin...bole?hahaha

tomororow da start puasa
so aku da beli J.co arini mkn puas2
actually since my lil bro is going back to Kedah n was craving for j.co i bought him some and took home the rest of it.i dont really eat J.co that much anymore cz i ll end up puking the whole thing back.membazir tak sudah.currently in the office,planning to go Funa to be a slave on Japanese food.damn!!nape semua yg aku suka mahal ah?

i rindu die lagi la arini :(
it was supposed to be a good thing.No?

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Labels

People often label me as a negative thinker
Why?
Because i am aware of any judgment/betrayal when im being negative compare than when im positive.so aku lebey suka jd negative.wlupon dulu aku pernah menjadi seorang positive thinker.

People often tell me that i am a very bad tempered person
Why?
Because kalau aku tunjuk perangai lemah lembut aku(wlupon tabrape lembut), org akan pijak kepala!!

People always see me as the bad guy
Why?
Sebab perangai aku yang selalu tolong orang bila susah.dan bila aku dah tolong,kalau jadi lg masalah, aku selalu akan dipersalahkan.wlupon bukan aku yg salah. konon nye sebab aku campur tgn.tp bukan diorg ke yg drag aku dlm masalah tu? tu semua dr org2 yang ego melangit dan tapernah nak mengaku salah.org2 mcm tu semua aku dah palang.

dan sekarang aku lebih selesa mengamalkan dasar tidak campur tangan
wlupon dipaksa,wlupun dipujuk
kalaupun terpaksa utk comment sesuatu,aku akan comment secara general.
im not on any sides.
aku lebih suka org menggangap aku tabrape wujud
dan aku pon tasuke utk terlalu rapat dgn sape2
easier that way
no one gets hurt atau pun terase hati kan?

aku dah penat jaga hati org
aku dah penat jadi baik
sekarang ni..aku dah mls nak peduli.

terima kasih.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Manusia

aku jijik tgk manusia yg berpura2 baik tapi hati syaitan
aku jijik tgk manusia yg berpura2 menjaga hati tapi sbnrnya tikam dr blakang
aku jijik tgk manusia yg mendabik dada bersuara lantang tapi sbnrnya kosong
aku jijik tgk manusia yg ckp tak serupa bikin
aku lagi jijik dengan manusia yg tak penah kotakn janji.

kesimpulan nya..aku jijik dengan perangai manusia,
terutama nya kau!!!
dan termasuk aku sendiri
sedih kan hidup aku

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

i miss him so bad :(

Monday, August 25, 2008

Private

Peeps,

those who wanted to read my fabulous blog(ceeewah) pls do leave ur emaill address to be added to my invited list

im going to private this blog as this it is not so private anymore
it turns out to be a public blog instead

tade yg penting utk dibaca pon
dan tade yg menarik utk diketawakan
so think twice

Mood Swing

i was supposed to participate in Amazing Race yesterday
BUT..because of this one selfish bastard we have to cancelled it
to me, last minute cancellation is a total potong la
he ditched us for 8K's snooker competition just a day before the event
selfish nak mampos!
i was ready to take the challenge even it was by force
since me n wani are the only girl representing out warehouse
mula2 paksa masuk..pastu kau yg tarik diri
bodoh betol...aku benci org selfish mcm ni tau tak...

Had a night out with Haya on Saturday night for a movie
Watched 'You Dont Mess With The Zohan'
i wonder why the movie is rated U
it shudnt be rated U la dammit
i read some reviews and heard from friends it is a 18SX kinda movie
that is why i asked haya if we were in the right cinema
BECAUSE there were many kids inside
and i bet their parents must be feelin bad about taking their kids there
but the movie was hilarious
with Adam Sandler as the main character
but in some way,it is insulting.
dont ask me in what way.
if u have watched it,u'll realize.

well hello stalker :)
u know who u are...
i located ur IP babe
oh i feel famous~ wtf
u wont find anything here
feel free to read my entries
there were some about u too *wink*
let me know if u wanted to be my loyal reader
because soon,im going to private this blog
only some people are allowed to read it
and to backstabbers,
u know who u r too
feel free to use any facts in here to bring me down
wtf i really feel famous
and i dont understand why people backstabb me or even stalk me
im not rich or pretty wtf
im fat and short la dey
stay away la..
gile punye org

Saturday, August 23, 2008

An Award





“ANDA HENDAKLAH MENYEDIAKAN SATU UCAPAN BERANGAN”

It has been done according to the following rules:

1. The winner may put the logo on her blog.
2. Put a link to the person you got the award from.
3. Nominate 5 blogs.
4. Put links to the blogs.
5. Leave a message for your nominees

alrite here we go

~i would like to thank N for giving me this award.without this award i wudnt know there are actually some people who appreciate me in this blogsphere *lift up trophy* and thank u farra for being the utmost bitchy reader to critic every entry i posted *bow berkali2*.and finally thank u to stalkers,backstabbers and haters for reading this blog and know how i actually feel about u.moga2 kau sedar diri sikit (tp kalo blm sedar aku akan post nama pulak kat sini) *flying kiss* dan terakhir skali, dont worry readers,i wont change the way i write.ITS MY BLOG.DEAL WITH IT,BITCH!'

Sekian

Thursday, August 21, 2008

In the mood

im sooo in the mood to enjoy myself
to get really wasted
hahaha
was thinking to proceed with the plan to cameron and get me relax there

a friend of mine told me not to be someone im not
told me i dont have to do some not-me thing to enjoy myself
the thing is how many of my friend,know the real me?
know who i was in the past
some might think i was what i am today
some might think i was so angelic..well the fact that im wearing tudung la kan
not that im proud of my past
there s nothing to be proud abt pun
i admit i was stupid n wrong back then
if i have to list down the wrongdoings it wud be very embarassing
but sometimes i miss being the old fairuz
the one who really dont gives a fuck
the one who were determined
the one who were cold hearted.

i have to admit that since im working in TLS
i became more soft hearted
i became so weak
became the sensitive one
became the one who cries easily
its a shame
because i dont find crying is a normal thing

dropped Janda Baik's plan
and have fun in Cameron, MY WAY hehe
da lama x buat benda mengarut
since 2 weeks ago,the eagerness to be the old me has arrived
i think its time to have it all my way
cz im tired of being the one who cares abt other people but myself
bukan nye ade sape nak appreciate pun
let alone saying thank u ke ape
not that im expecting it pun
but at least appreciate la
not backstab me

tu la manusia
tak penah puas
tak penah berterima kasih
tak penah igt masa susah
bila senang semua lupa
manusia ni hodoh kan? :)

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

tested
im officially an obese T_______________________________________T
mati la aku gemok
stakat nak emo tak tentu pasal bole pegi mampos!

mls aku nak layan org emo skrg ni
lg2 yg tak tentu psl emo
semua dah besar
pandai guna kepala otak sndiri

so pegi mampos!

Monday, August 18, 2008

some say girls are living in denial most of their time in life.
i second that
dan aku ade la dgr jugak,buaya2 ni ckp pompuan senang kene tipu
sbb akal x panjang
yeke?mungkin la kot
tp cam haram la jugak kan dgr many bad things about girls
of course from those who doesnt have respects for us girls

why do people make promises when they know they couldnt/wont keep it?
tapernah rase bersalah ke ape?
dont u ever feel guilty for betraying someone's trust?
tonight,after many months,im here to announce
that i dont believe in promises anymore.
no matter how much i try to deny
eventually i realize that promises are meant to be broken.

dont u think so?

aku rase promises are stupid
it fools people like me
aih...cam haram je aku rase skang ni

feels like giving up
feels like quitting my study...and my work.

ni semua kau punye psl la mr so-called macho
nyampah aku tgk muka kau hari2

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Last Night

yesterday,
started my morning with bad mood.nak marah je..tatau mende nak marah pon..tp saje nak marah.i had only 45mins sleep the other night.and usually i will take my nap during lunch hour.since its friday,lunch hour starts at 12.45 and ends at 2.30pm.i decided to take my nap.i was damn tired and goten wuzzy the whole morning.i brought in my pillow(yes,i do have a pillow in the office),trying to get my rest in meeting room's cushion.i wud normally get sleepy after 15-20mins but yday i cudnt close my eyes and obviously cudnt sleep.so i called Yana who phoned asking me to go for lunch with her earlier,asking her where was she and i drove there.buat muka sememeh xcukup tido joined them.had my sup ayam set.aku tatau sup tu rase ape..main mkn je.mood mmg tade lnsg...that is why i hate it when something/someone blow my very good mood away.bad mood bole smpi mlm tau x?benci btol aku

we had our retreat dinner for annual dinner committe in Planet Hollywood at 8.so convoy la ramai2 from sa1g.ade la manusia yg bijak pandai ni...yana suh ikut smart tunnel to avoid the traffic jam(kau tau la jam kat kl camne kan..cam haram) but....sbb ego die yg melampau cam kimak tu kate nak ikut NPE.(sbnrnye aku pon tatau ade highway ni hehehe) and said there will be no jams...smpi je sana ha kau...jam panjang gile babi plak tu...bile suruh ikut smart tanak...konon nye nnt jam kat federal la ape la..tatau tu ckp la tatau...ego nape tah..pelik aku org ego x bertempat camnih..masuk BB congested mcm biasa la kan...tah nape tah org bijak tu bwk pusing2 jalan mane2 tah..so we decided not to follow them.smpi la kami ke planet..then mcm biasa la...org yg suka layan jam tu mmg buat muka x bersalah la kan..

had our dinner.start with salad then not-so main course.quite full and then layan live band..there was a bday party for some teenager kat situ la...we were behind.then abis je around 10.30pm meja sume alih then da start la mlm setan.but i cudnt be so setan la kan..since aku membwk imej perempuan muslimah mlm tu...gile kau ramai ade kat situ..bebdk tls plak tu...kekok la nak sap okok la ape tu sume...but then after a while sikit2 la berambus dr sana.so the girls yana wani nonee tu da start menari bagai...aku ni duduk je la..lama da x jadi setan.tetibe cam rindu plak ngan zaman2 rawngs perform dulu kan...when i was close with cj n pee.rindu dow...

i had fun last night.it put my mind off everything that burden me for a while.i havent laugh so hard for quite many months already huh...so yeah it was fun.budak2 ni sume cam agak pantang nmpk camera la kan...kepala senget sana sini hahaha lps tu nonee cam biasa la dpt je business card org and wani kene ngorat ngan budak2 xbrape cukup umo hahahah mintak no tepon sume la haha...maybe i shud go out more often.maybe i shudnt work so hard to impress anyone anymore ey..since no one is going to appreciate anyway.

aku rindu die gile babi.
aku pon tatau nape.
the more i try to get rid of him
the more i miss him
especially his laugh
ngan manja dia la kan hahaha
rindu kau la dow

Friday, August 15, 2008

Once again

i had a sleepless night
a very cold night
after a big fight
woken up by asthma attack
ni mesti psl isap rokok lebih2 smalam

i need him out of my life.right now.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Bvlgari

Finally...
after few months...
he s my new baby
muahaahahahahah

thanks Haya for ur company!
Good luck on ur new job :)
let me know if u can drag me to that 90% offer ya haha

im still down with fever and cough
tp sap okok jugak

2 MCs
asthma attack,fever,flu and the very bad batuk.
missed out 3 classes
missed out 1 quiz, 1 test
im a terrible person for wasting my own money T__T
oh and also my parents money

i got bad headache for many days already
if this continue for few days,
i think most likely to get a brain cancer wtf
its killing me la
xblh kene panas la,ape la

i need my vacation,so bad T__T

will be going to Janda baik for HPD outing
i got invited
close friends will be going
but i also wana go to Cameron with fie n phynie
aihh tough choice

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Getaway

i need a gateaway
even if its just for awhile
i want to dissapear
i dont wanna see anyone i know
at this moment,at least
i seriously need to get my butt out of this town,work and study
im too tired to go thru this

i want it to end.right now.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Blogger

i read a blog.i find a similarity between that blogger and me.i love her poetry.i feel her sadness,because i was once feel exactly the same.now, she's happy with her new love,getting married early next year while im still on the very same spot.not moving a step forward.how pathetic.

i wanna get rid of u.fast.its eating me inside out.
bloody motherfucker!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Ba Alif Ba Ya x80

im pissed!!!

aku sgt2 xpaham nape ade je yg nakasi aku marah time mood aku baik.tak senang tgk aku happy ke ape tah..

every word comes out from ur mouth in the past, or present sgt2 menyakitkan ati aku la kimak.u r such a bastard.

im reading a book titled 'thanks for the memories' by cecilia ahern.its very interesting.not really a lovey dovey type of read.a women,who lost her baby and deeply sad about it,not having a happy marriage,divorce later on.so when she lost a lot of blood due to miscarriage,she receive blood from a donor(justin hitchcock) and amazingly she know many things she never bother to care or know (latin and few languages,some historical thing,dream abt a gal who turns out to be his daughter).

and now im wondering if this thing really happen in real life?i mean if u donate ur blood,is there any possibility that you cud actually feel the same way as the donor?or feel the chemistry at least?

sape bole jwb?

i miss u really.
but i know u've changed.
for the worse.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Lets be a survey biatch!

A- [A]vailable?
- totally

B- [B]irthday?
- sept 26th

C- [C]herrys?
- i dont like cherry.

D- [D]rink you had last?
- plenty of mineral water

E- [E]asiest person to talk to?
- my sisters

F- [F]avorite color(s)?
- black

G- [G]ummy bears or gummy worms?
- i like both

H-[H]ome town?
- pahang

I- [I]ce cream?
- anything with berries

J- [J]ust something you always say on IM?
- pepet

K- [K]illed someone?
- wanted to but i know i dont have any right to take anyone's life

L- [L]imeaid or lemonade?
- none

M- [M]oney or love?
- money.money can buy love

N- [N]umber of siblings?
- 5

O- [O]ne wish?
- to have more money so i cud make my dreams come true

P-[P]lay an instrument?
- tade

Q- [Q]uiet?
- im not that quiet.but i can be.

R- [R]eason you smile?
- kdg2 tade ape pon tersenyum sorang2..but i guess sweet memories la..and good jokes

S- [S]ong you last heard?
- 11 Januari by Gigi

T- [T]ime you woke up today?
- exactly 6.45am every morning

U- [U] like someone right now?
- yes i do.for 2+ years already

V- [V]egetables?
- im very picky when it comes to food.i dont eat certain veges

W- [W]orst habit?
- i have this one habit that i hardly get rid of it.cz im really good at it.

Y- [Y]ellow a good color?
- not really

Z- [Z]odiac?
- libra

In the class

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.



If you get more than 20, you're paranoid.



If you get 10-20, you are normal.



If you get 10 or less, you're fearless



I Fear…
[] black people
[x] the dark
[] staying single forever
[] being a parent
[] being myself in front of others
[] open spaces
[] closed spaces
[x] heights
[] dogs
[] birds
[] fish
[] spiders
[] flowers or other plants
[] Asians

Total so far: 2

[x] being touched by old guys
[] fire
[x] deep water
[] snakes
[] silk
[] the ocean
[x] failure
[] success
[x] lightning
[] frogs/toads
[] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[] my boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[] rats
[x] jumping from high places
[] snow

Total so far: 7

[] rain
[] wind
[] crossing over bridges
[x] death
[] heaven (getting in)
[x] God himself
[x] being robbed/mugged
[x] falling
[x] clowns
[x] dolls...creepy ones
[] large crowds of people
[] men
[] women
[] having great responsibilities
[x] doctors, including dentists
[] tornadoes

Total so far:14

[] hurricanes
[x] incurable diseases
[] sharks
[] Friday the 13th
[x] ghosts
[x] poverty
[] Halloween
[] school
[] trains
[] odd numbers
[] even numbers
[] being alone
[x] becoming blind
[x] becoming deaf
[] growing up

Total so far: 19

[x] creepy noises in the night
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[] needles
[] blood
[] dinosaurs
[] the welcome mat
[] high speed
[] throwing up
[] falling in love

Final Total: 21

hahaha guess im not so brave after all..i have to admit that i am paraniod.just another fact about me :) im in my executive note taking class right now.i was supposed to get the whole short hand thing done but i did this instead.gila pening weh blaja mende alah nih....sok tade class...this week i have to submit another business math assignment..1st assignment pon aku tak submit..ni kan pule 2nd assignment..igt aku bole buat?huh...aku gila benci math ok.cam haram ngan formula2 sume...ohh i skipped my business math quiz last friday.igtkan takena amik balik..rupa2nye kene sit for the quiz jugak...nape la nasib aku ngan math mcm ni...me n math and account...we never get along very well..we hate each other hahaha wtf

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Tagged

i was tagged..by narimah nahalan..or maybe i shud call her N like farra does...blh ka N?hehehe well since i dont really enjoy being vain by camwhoring all the time,my pic would be very normal.i dont edit my pic cz i dnt know how to use photoshop.wtf i sounded so buta IT T__T
so here goes my 10 most fave pics.tp cam N ckp la kan,kalo 100 pics br cam mencabar.tp tercirit jgk la kalo nak upload 100pics
Warning: looking at my pics might cause u a serious pain in ur heart cz u found me cuter than u wtf hahaha

L-R : Semah,Sayumi,Fairuz.This is our last time hanging out with Sayumi.She left for Japan because after a year and half staying here and she couldn't get use to the culture in Malaysia.Kat Taipan

Perhentian peeps :) ni masa nak mkn kat kuala besut kot...ntah la aku lupa..they were awesome and i had fun...so much fun to be honest :)


L-R : Ezah(3rd sister), Fairuz (1st sister), Dilah (2nd sister). Ni masa raya..they both are my most fave people.sayang dow adik aku


Hehe ...ni aku sorang la..with..J.co donuts...tgh mengular ni sbnr nye hahaha..

L-R : Hani,Semah,Farahrina,Fairuz,Baiti,Puteri.Ni masa TLS Family Day in Tiara Beach Resort in PD.

Pic ni...hehehe back in 2006 sbb tu cam kurus sikit on TLS Annual Dinner. Theme Retro.sbb tu bos aku yg kat sblh tu mcm tu rupenye hahaha

this was back in 2007. Badminton Friendly Match in Rawang. TLS vs Perodua. Hantar 7 team...semua kalah ahahaha tu sume muka penat la tu

Ni pun back in 2007. Jamuan raya kat umah boss..cam biasa la perempuan cantik kene la tolong bos kan hahaha semua pki baju kurung/kebaya aku sorang je sesat.nmpk sgt pekerja xberwibawa

this...is my bestfriend.i think this pic taken last year.in Pyramid car park..masa tade hala tujuan so sesukahatitakpikirminyakatauduit pegi sana sini :) she is my bestfriend since i was 15years old.so sume puppy love bagai die tau and she knows the real me.i dont have to fake myself.

L-R: Semah,Yana,Fairuz,Puteri.fyi,these people are my fave colleague.ade la sorang lg,my officer.die tade dlm gmbr.with them there are always fun fun fun :) this was taken few weeks back.at TLS Annual Dinner.theme Rock Kapak.we had so much fun cz annual dinner turned out to be a mini concert hahaha ade pak arab nak beli ticket masuk pulak hahaha.

kalo korang perasan byk gmbr kat atas byk dgn org2 yg sama.nak tau sbb ape?sbb ngan dorang je la aku lepak.my life is about my family and work.so cam kirenye aku ni tade kehidupan la kan wtf my life is a sad case la..tade bende nak buat.

aku tatau nak tag sape..sape2 rase nak buat,buat je la.