raya was ok..but 4th day of raya have to work.smpi la skrg kat kat office lg.very babi.

im off to cherating on saturday.yippieeeeeeee.be back on monday.haih been waiting for this trip for months already.i hope my gps wont fuck me that bad cz im gonna be pissed.and im gonna be broke next month.so broke.so no good food entries for a while.

oh babes,google zac brown band 'whatever it is' song.my current fave song.its a country song :) im so mixed up

i was supposed to get my book this week.im still waiting for it,patiently.sabar fairuz sabar.dtg jugak nnt

Updates

1. meet up with Haya at Secret Receipe.wlupon tapuasa kan...haha ckp2 smpi pkl 9 lebih kot.mostly we update each other on relationships,books,celebrity and abt life.gila tabole blah kan...then off to miza,jumpa siti pulak.i didnt see her much since its fasting month anyway,malas aku mau pegi 1G.ckp2 lg..ketawa2...kutuk2 org..pastu balik kene marah pffft

2. buka puasa tahun ni byk dgn N...since i need to smoke,dia sorang je kot yg bole teman.aku kan taramai kwn.pathetic gila life aku haha.ohh ari ape tah aku jumpa maya & adina.she's 8 months old already...comellllll tp muka mcm bapak dia.maya tu bole dikatakan antara kwn paling lama aku kot.dr standard 1...dia da kawin..aku yg talepas2 lg haha

3. jumaat mlm,lepak with cjay then die ckp napegi rawang jumpa peezee :) ikut la skali...one good thing abt hanging out with them,stress-free.they r those people who dont treat me like a trash.they accept me the way i am.wlupon skang aku dagemok.pee volunteered to be my personal trainer in order to become one of the biggest loser pfft.tp byk la pulak ceramah die kan haha smpi umah pkl 4 pagi,n dad was waiting for me at the living room.hehe mmg la kene bebel

4. im offically addicted to rap and hip hop songs again..i listen to indo song verrryyyy less these days.eminem, lil wayne and soulja are my most current play.why all of sudden?because im going thru sort of break up(not a break up but sort of) and if i wanna stop myself from crying,im gonna have to smoke,a lot.n since i pity my lung for many months already i wanna cut down the intake,i listen to murder murder kill kill die die fuck here n there songs.PERFECT remedy for the broken hearted.

5. if im as hot as megan fox,im gonna make eminem marry me.oh i dreamt of him the other day,tgh akad nikah kawin ngan aku sialllll lmao it put smile on my face for the next 2 days.

6. i bought like 3 books last week

the time traveler's wife - as recommended by Haya the other day

For One More Day - started to like his book after reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Starting Over - Read the synopsis and bought it in MPH with fie n supin.and fie went 'ruz how come u always buy books about life?come on ur life is not that bad' LOL

7. and guess what people,i'll be getting my Eminem - The Way I Am book by raya.im soooo freaking excited.thanks to permaisuri.u really made my day.since i couldnt find the book in any local store,i have to ask permaisuri to purchase the book in Amazon.this gonna be the best present this year.i read the reviews,and i know it will be a good read.2 hari jugak la hati ta tenang.tgh sabar menunggu.

He is the best rapper EVER after Tupac.gosh im so obsessed

8. i hate my Part 6 subjects.Eco,Corporate Compliance and ETR.fuhhh da la susah...pastu eco byk nakene calculate plak tu...calculus is bunch of bitches.they confuse me pffft.

9. after raya getaway to Chearting :) we are planning on water activities and horseback riding kalo ada la kan...going to turtle sanctuary~ rasa2 bole adopt a baby turtle and bring back to shah alam ke ta?rasa2 sempat ta aku nakuruskan badan?bercuti di tepi pantai harus la bikini body kan haha

10. i cant feel the raya spirit for many years already.even before i stopped fasting for 4 years due to gastritis.org ckp sbb aku tade pasangan hidup (tha fuck?).sbb tu la aku ta excited.ta jugak wehhh masa ade bf dulu pun mmg taseronok pun.biasa2 je.for me raya is a family gathering.nothing much to be excited about.i dont eat rendang,i dont eat ketupat,i eat very little lemang.aku tamain mercun juge..sbb dr kecik mmg kitorg aik beradik tabole main.putus tgn kaki mata la ape sume dlm berita tu kan.hmmm whats wrong with me anyway?

Tagged by baiti

Nama timangan:
fairuz, ruz, pendek,gemok ....yg buruk2 tu sume nama timangan aku sbb dorang dengki aku comel wtf

Anda seorang yang:
complicated.bad-tempered BUT caring kot..kot je la.aku sndiri ta sure haha

Lagu kesukaan:
all time fave: Bella Luna by Jason Mraz, Everything by Micheal Buble, However by Glay, Beautiful Dreamer by Glay, Jie Kou by Jay Chou, An Jing by Jay Chou ..eh byk la plak

current: The Warning by Eminem, Kim by Eminem, Bagpipe From Baghdad by Eminem, We Made You by Eminem, Tired of Being Sorry by Enrique Iglasias, Kiss Me Thru The Phone by Soulja Boy, You're So Vain by Carly Simon...ok cukup taperlu list down lg

Movie terBesttt:
How to Lose a Guy in 10 days- i can watch this movie hundred times and still laugh like mad
Transformer - sbb yg no 2 aku tapenah tgk lg
Radit dan Jani - ini bukan movie kot.ada dlm DVD je.tgk byk kali pun still nangis jugak

Usually i like action and horror movie.tp ada masanya hormon perempuan lebih aku akan tgk romantic comedy movies.never really into malay movies tho but some of them are good no doubt abt that

Makanan kesukaan anda:
nakene list nama mknan ke jenis mknan?sbb byk neh

malay - singgang,asam pedas ikan kembung,ayam masak merah/kicap,tomyam dan selagi tade santan/taugeh/tomoto yg rupa tomato dlm masakan tu aku bole bedal
japanese - semua pun aku mkn sbb mkanan dia tade letak santan
western - tgk mood aku.mkn je ape pun sbb die pun tade santan kan.

annoying gila kan ckp santan santan haha

Minuman kegemaran anda:
aku suka lipton green tea,ribena,teh o ice.air suam ke..apa2 je pun aku minum asal tade susu pekat.bole muntah eeeee

Sikap yg membuatkan anda stress:
byk ni...takan aku na list semua.tape la aku list down je la kan
org bodoh sombong
org tade duit tp perasan mcm byk duit gila babi.
perempuan hodoh yg rasa diri sndiri cantik dan poyo
org2 yg kene culture shock ni haha
backstabber
suka cancel last minute
lembab selepas di ajar 10 kali


Benda yg mesti ada dlm beg:
mesti la telefon bimbit,kunci rumah,lighter + rokok, perfume, wallet yg hanya menyimpan matrix card,IC,driving license etc

Warna kesukaan anda:
Black,grey,brown and red

Kali terakhir anda menangis dan mengapa?
last week kot sbb aku tgk cerita Charlie and Me kat tv2.got carried away menangis mcm org gila sbb apa aku tatau.maybe sbb aku da lama takasi diri aku nangis.

Tag 6 rakan blog:
1.Permaisuri
2.N
3.Farra
4.Hezrin
5.Siamang
6.Rina

so so

1. out for tony romas at curve with fie on monday.since i wasnt in the mood to attend class till 9.30 i decided to leave early.as usual i ordered tony romas famous ribs.i previously ordered the same one but i had smaller pieces of 4.this time it was on 2 pieces but it was huge.haih...mmg la ta abis mkn.i forced myself to finish it...tp mmg takan abis.on my way back from the curve i feel like puking the whole time in the car.itu la jadi nya kalo aku asik paksa diri mkn wlupon suda kyg.fie ordered seafood salmon or smtg but it was yummy.i had enuff of ribs,at least for the next 2 months.gonna try smtg else.but its good to see fie more often this few weeks.





2. went for movies on fri and saturday night.on friday we get to watch ' the proposal'at 12.05 am.fuh the movie i tell u...fuhh best gilaaaaaaaa...sweet namampos.since aku kan kini hati runsing jiwa kacau,im easily touched by love story.tp aku rasa mmg best.aku tareti mau buat review but its highly recommended.on saturday i went out with my lil sister.had johnny's after movie.oh aku tgk harry potter.im not a fan of potter.never really see the movies or read the book.but the movie was okay.my sister said the recent potter movie was not as good as the previous ones.ntah la aku tgk je pun....tu pun lama gila.

3. bought 2 books. babyland by holly chamberline and the undomestic goddess by sophie kinsella.suda lama aku tabeli buku.aku nabeli twenties girl by sophie kinsella tp masa tu aku tacukup duit.mahal sikit la...bila ada duit beli mknan mahal2...kan da tade duit haih


4. i was sick yesterday.but the night before went for bowling with siti n angah.i dont like bowling that much but i just need to go out.need some fresh air..smoke and gossip around.just to take mind off things for a while.angah ajar aku cara main bowling siot...sakit tgn aku :(

5. Al-fatihah to a friend of mine on her loss.her niece was only 2 months old when she returned to God.nape aku tatau..i dont think its the good time to ask...lgpun die tamenangis.she lost her other 4 years old niece last year on May 13th..just 2 days before her birthday.to add up,she just broke up with her bf 3 days ago.haih...babe,be strong.dont keep it inside,let it out.it is okay to be sad,its okay to cry.let me know if u need anything,u know i'll be there for u

6. aku mau pegi bercuti di tmpt yg senyap,ada laut ataupun pantai,affordable.sape ada cadangan?bila ada duit,kwn aku plak tade.bila dua2 da ade...hal lain plak muncul.babi sgt

7. oh aku baru terigt,aritu lps bowling kitorf lepak miza la kan...angah n ct digossipkan masa pegi kenduri adul aritu.so aku pun usik la sikit2..usik2 pasal kawin sume la..pastu si siti ni kuarkan soalan

siti: angah kau tanak feruz ke ngah?
angah: hah?
siti: kau tanak feruz ke?feruz ok ape
angah: boleh...tp kau kene ubah la
me: hah?ubah ape plak
angah:bukan ubah fizikal la...ubah perangai
me: haaa ubah perangai...
siti: yg pertama apa ngah?
angah:perangai
siti: yg kedua?
angah: perangai jugak
siti: yg ketiga?
me: perangai jugak ke?
angah: perangai jugak
me: -.-'

teruk sgt ke perangai aku T__T bole aku tanya ta..?yg sape2 kenal aku,ape perangai aku yg annoy kau gila babi?bagi yg takenal aku bole jugak kasi comment,tetapi berlapik skit...mood aku tatentu skang neh..kang baca comment yg lebih2 kang,aku reply secara memaki...tasengaja pun kadang2 tu..haih

updates

1. HODs started to get my bb pin.which is not cool at all.i even ignored most HODs friend request in facebook.dakenape mau add aku neh?haih...obviously i wont bbm with the bosses in this company.bado asked for my pin this morning and i had to give him because he looked so excited that a clerk is using a blackberry javelin and he desperately want to start bbm-ing with everyone.swt

2. i had fun hanging out with fie on weekend.i havent seen her for quite a while.we went for a movie in the curve and supposedly signing up for 'the biggest loser asia'.we watched 'ghost from girlfriends past'.starring matthew mcconaughey.he is soooo charming.cool gila sial die tu..i dont watch romantic movies often but i really like his character in his every movie.ohh about the BLA thing,we reached there quite late but we saw a few contestant and fie told me not to sign up because obviously we wont get picked.they are far bigger than us wlupon i strongly believe im their size wtf

3. we had purikura session on saturday.the last one was years back and on sunday fie brought the whole collection from we were in high school.i dont collect pictures hahaha i lost it long ago.it brings back the stupid memories we used to have.

candid shot yg paling suka

retarded shot haha this was 4 years ago

first puri together

ini pun agak lama suda...6 thn lps kot

i think this was before our date with our exs hahaha

okay...that guy used to hang out with us because he was tring to kao fie's sister

this the our FIRST purikura.we were 15 years old hahahahaha

i remember this was in sg. wang

hahahaha when we were all still in normal weight

cari saya...librarian in 2002 i think

4. we went to pasar malas yday evening around fie's office.spent almost 20 ringgit on food.me and fie decided to launch our food trip very soon.

5. byk gila assignment smpi aku suda mau gila...mcm2 la sem ni...duit tade utk byr fees la,role play la,presentation melambak2,eco yg susah la...adoi...mcm mau berenti belajar pun ade neh.i was at fie's office until 3am last night to get ONE bloody assignment done.

6.bole ta kalo aku masih tabole terima adik2 aku dabesar dan menjalani hidup sndiri?dulu mau pegi beli barang ke..mau tgk movie ke..mau pegi sana sini akan call n ajak aku la kire nye.skrg neh kan sorang da ade bf,tgk movie dgn bf etc...sorang lg ajak kakak nye pulak utk pegi beli brg sbb masing2 dapandai bwk kete.so i feel left out.bole ta?padahal aku agak bz dan dorang sbnr nya malas nakacau aku...haih

7. bole ta kalo aku ckp aku benci org bodoh??hmmm lembab & slow atau lmbt pick up ke apa tu...mcm bole diterima kot.ni yg jenis buat salah berkali2,ditegur berkali2,masih buat kesalahan yg sama ataupun susah naterima teguran org.kalo pandai tape...haaa kan aku da start mulut puaka ni.lg satu aku benci org yg berckp tapikir dulu.lps ckp kene maki baru napk.pastu mula la na sorry2 setiap kali kene maki.masalah nya...aku menghadapi masalah dgn org yg lebih tua dr aku...nak aku pijak kang..kwn.

8. dan tolong la jgn na obsses sgt dgn diri sendiri...haih.nasib baik mulut aku ni selalu behave.

9. sebenarnya aku pun tasuka dgn diri aku yg cerewet neh hahahaha kalo sume perangai tabole na handle baik kwn dgn beruk kan?tp...aku cukup tasuke dgn perangai org2 yg disebut sepertu di atas.bloody mf kasi aku marah smpi the next morning

ok tu je na bebel.bye

Award

(1). 5 FAKTA MENARIK PEMBERI AWARD INI

1. die sengal
2. da kwn agak beberapa thn jugak la...almost 5 years kot
3. dulu mcm setan skrg ni da baik da hehehe
4. Anak die comel dowh aku blm tgk lg
5. die kan skrg ada online boutique babe check out

(2). SETIAP BLOGGER HARUS MENYATAKAN 10 FAKTA ATAU HOBI DIRI SENDIRI SEBELUM MEMILIH PENERIMA AWARD YANG SETERUSNYA


1. anon tasuke aku hahaha
2. i love reading wlupon ramai kwn2 aku tapercaya
3. insomnia loves me
4. i hate waiting, dealing with mental retarded people and rempit
5. i love to eat ~
6. aku penah simpan cita2 nakawin dgn hide nakata muahahaha
7. i used to be 50kg T___T
8. i hate hate hate maths and anything got to do with calculations. account lg la aku tasuke
9. i dont apply make ups. not even lipstick.kalo ade maknanya ade la event tu dan mungkin terpaksa je pakai pun
10. those who have been with me knows that i have a lot of phones and numbers hahaha

(3). ANDA PERLU MEMILIH 10 PENERIMA AWARD SETERUSNYA DAN DESCRIBE TENTANG MEREKA

Perlu ke 10?tgk la nnt brape ramai yg nabuat

1. farra nellie suria - nama dia panjang kan? she's our queen of chorus lol
2. narimah - she the queen of my heart.comel tapi gila haha
3. Tatum - she's the queen of the united kingdom muehehe
4. Hezrin - the classmate who loves to provoke me
5. Rina - my kak long.
6. Siamang aka ezah - sila buat ni ye wlupon tade wifi kat faculty
7. baiti - aku kasi blk bole ta hahaha
8. ntah la aku da tade sape nakasi...nmpk sgt kehidupan aku sgt sedih taramai kwn wtf hahaha

entry berkurun

1. safety shoes aku kene curi dgn beruk warehouse.kalo aku da dpt tau sape yg amik,mmg kene telan sumpah seranah aku.before this safety strap aku kene curi.tp biasa la,kalo aku bgtau barang aku hilang,mmg la org takan amik pusing sgt.aku kan clerk je.cuba kalo org2 atas punye barang...gerenti secepat kilat investigate.

2. trip to cameron was not-so-fun after all.it was tiring.imagine we have go to thru the snake-y road for almost 2 hours..arrived at 7pm on friday and return to shah alam on 3pm on the next day after wedding.adoiiii penat dol.ta sempat napegi T-cafe mkn strawberry cheesecake pun T___T aku na upload gmbr tp blogger mcm haram.so taperlu la upload ye...

3. few weeks ago, the traffic feed shows that some asshole have been posting about my blog in friendster. since then, many anons visited this blog and commented on how often i let out some foul languages.i dont know why haters keep on coming eventho they dont like the person or even the blog itself.kalo tasuke jgn la baca kan...feel free to navigate off my page la.mula2 tu agak angin jgk la...after a few comments, rasa kelakar pun ade.so aku mampus kan je anon tu sume.since sume na gune anon acc,aku restrict sape yg bole comment.hehehe biar diorg ni berani sikit comment ade name...sbb bg aku,yg guna acc anon ni sume pengecut.mcm la aku nabunuh die kalo pun aku tau sape...paling kuat pun kene maki je la kan

4. new semester has started.most probably taking 5 subjects instead of 4 which i have planned earlier.i managed to go to the 1st 2 classes on monday and tuesday hehehe it is an achievement because for the past 4 semesters,i refused to go to class for the 1st 2 weeks dgn alasan mood belajar blm ade hehe. and yeah...na bangga sikit bole ta?pointer sem lepas aku dpt 3.27 weh...i was gila babi shocked because i wasnt expecting utk dpt secemerlang tu..and ohhh i was expecting to get As for Mandarin II and BEL250...tp dua2 aku dpt B+..tu la lain kali jgn asik ponteng class...kan dakene deduct 10% attendance which my BEL lecturer has warned me on every class.Mandarin tu aku agak sakit ati sbb salah org lain,aku yg dpt tempias and that is why aku tasuke group assignment.pastu muka tabesalah...kenapa aku ckp mcm tu?sbb all quizzes and mid term exam soalan SENANG.hishhhh angin plak aku bila igt blk

5. bankrupt.i have to pay for uitm fees which cost around rm950 and next month roadtax kete mati...perfect timing.tu la kau bila ade duit beli blackberry..lain kali sediakan payung sebelum ujan...mmg padan muka kau

6. this morning i told my mom to cook me my most fave dish....singggang...weeeee tghari adik aku call suruh blk umah makan.i did mentioned in my previous post that i cud eat 3 pinggan penuh nasik which equals to separuh periuk..actually im not kidding hehehe sbb tu la mak aku jarang2 masak singgang utk aku.actually sblm aku mkn nasik pkl 1 tu...aku da mkn nasik lemak ayam pkl 10 pagi hahahaha buruk lantak

sebenarnya bila aku post entry ni...aku tgh terliur lg

goreng drummet dulu

seperiuk nasik

1st round

2nd round

3rd round hehehe

tinggal byk ni je nasik hahaha blk nnt mesti aku kene marah

7. eh few weeks ago,byk gila drama berlaku di sekeliling aku.fuiyoooo a couple got busted babe.when u r cheating on ur partner,lama2 tuhan akan tunjuk jugak :)

8. ohh aku ada nmpk masa pegi beli barang kat seng heng sek24 kan...ade tmpt muay thai.aku amik number die kan...punya semangat nabelajar blk kan..sekali bila call...die da tutup pulak pfft anyway i spoke to...(well in fb chat) a man named bernard radin,who is now in the contender asia said that he is running a muay thai centre in kelana jaya and said he will teach girls as most of the real muay thai centre dont take girls as their student.TAPI dia ckp tatau bila akan bukak utk public..sbb tu sume utl atlit negara...aku punye la semangat T_____T

9. im going to kelantan this week.na antar adik aku...akhirnya aku cuti jugak...tp nnt trainee hensem baru masuk ari isnin kan...i have a reason to smile for a year now hahaha

10. BB messenger takes my mind off him for a while :) its a good thing.

my blog is now open for public.i accidentally put it in private when i was setting for the list of names. anon, feel free to mock me now.i kinda miss their presence lol

not so productive week

1. fishing event ended very gampangly.we try to get some fish but we get plastic chair instead or paling best,dapat byk sampah.as expected

2. cooking competition.instead of dpt average cooking result,kumpulan aku dpt 'masakan paling hampeh' aaaaaaa mantap sgt kan.hadiah nye,1 buku roti.not worth it at all.as expected jugak.da la tenaga aku disejat oleh matahari.i cant stand the heat la seriously.automatically aku akan jd lemah...muka pun suda merah.pastu to make it worse,aku nmpk cacing merah besar eeeeeeee geliii aku

3. datang keje kena bahan all day.ada yg mintak ikan bakar..ade yg mintak roti bakar.yg mintak aku jgn masuk event lg pun ade.mantap sgt kan?

4. tiring week because i still cant sleep before 3am and still wake up at 6am.bosan tau ta kwn rapat dgn insomnia..betul2 menyusahkan aku.tinggal na mkn ubat tido je neh.lain2 sume aku dabuat

5. perasaan na becuti membuak2..tp sekor kwn pun tade nateman.kesian kan?

6. ramai sgt org kawin this month n next month.aku tatau bole pegi ke ta...but will be going to cameron for cousin's wedding.kira ok la tu bole relax for 2 days with family.which also means,no smoking.mati la sangap aku kat sana

7. mom keep on asking bila mau kawin...adoi.igt senang ke cari bf mcm cari tmpt mkn tghari...nnt2 la mak.blm mau kawin ataupun ada bf la

8. Takziah utk fizi a.k.a bf adik aku atas pemergian ayah dia pagi ni.sbb snbr aku tatau tp yg aku tau mmg arwah da lama sakit.semoga arwah ditempatkan bersama org2 yg beriman.Al-Fatihah

the fucked up days

1. a very very gloomy morning

2. everything seems so wrong

3. tons of work to get done but the feeling of being demotivated, really really slow things down

4. i really,really need a vacation.tape la mlm ni aku pegi tanjung harapan la.kemaruk sgt na dgr bunyi laut

5. will participate in a fishing competition.fish and cook the fish.wtf mesti kalah

6. dying in a very young age bcz i tend to get angry everyday.maybe i need to go to anger management class

7. my crush is having a crush on me?thats weird.i mean,really weird

8. everything pisses me off at the moment.so no stupid jokes pls

9. i let someone down.and i feel terrible.

10. susah nye na cari mknan berkhasiat and diet bila kau ada kwn2 yg mkn mknan yg sedap2 all the time.haish

no title

1. lack of sleep since last friday.automatically will wake up at 6am wlupun aku baru je tido pkl 3.30.si cantik insomnia da dtg balik.yday down with major headache,back pain n loya2 mcm ibu mengandung...ni semua randy shaw punye psl!

2. now i know why they call it crackberry.im addicted to it..hardly putting it down.its strange how bb messenger works.mati aku camneh.btw mom knew abt my bb already(i was planning to tell her after i get my pay this fri) cousin aku la neh kantoi...

nadia: fuiyooo angah ade hp baru.kakak nak tgkkkk
fairuz: jap laaa.org nak reply sms ni
nadia:mahal ke angah...cantik la
fairuz: tade la 200 hengget je
nadia: murah nya
fairuz: ye murah gila

btw she's 11 years old cousin
smpi umah je

nadia: mama mama,angah ade phone baru ma.murah je..200 ringgit.belikan utk kakak ma
auntie: fuiyoo hp baru.na tgk
fairuz: bikin kantoi la kau neh kakak.nah arrr
auntie: fuiyooo blackberry.tau sape yg pakai kt office auntie?managing director je tau
mak: membazir je beli hp...yg hitam tu kasi mak
fairuz: errr tabole la..syg la phone tu
mak: tade tade..kasi mak.asik membazir beli benda bukan2 bla bla bla bla.....
fairuz : T____T nadia la neh

3. plan utk bercuti semua hancur berkecai.bole ta kalo tanak becuti tu jgn sebut2 or sibuk na plan end up kau jugak yg cancel.haish...org suka mainkan hati dan perasaan aku.aku punye la teruja na bercuti.

4. i have a new crush.but it last for 4 days only...aiyooo.aku na jugak pk psl org lain...asik kau je dlm kepala otak aku ni

5. sape tau mcmana napegi cherating?jalan paaaling senang?

6. aku dpt merasakan aku ade naluri keibuan yg tinggi.tapi cm tanak kawin but amik anak angkat pun bole kan?kire nya aku cam level2 angelina jolie,madonna dorang sume tu kan? hahaha

7. sape tau mana nacari ubat tido dosage tinggi punye?

random updates

1. it has been almost 2 months since my grandfather passed away.it sadden me because i didnt get the chance to say goodbye.what makes me even more sad,i didnt get the chance to apologize.u know when u've done something wrong,i mean clearly wrong and u didnt get the chance to say sorry,ur bad deeds will haunt,forever.i totally regret but i postponed my sorry till his last breath.i learn one thing,never postpone ur sorry.

2. thought of getting a blackberry bold,but i bought blackberry javelin instead.i have always wanted the bold.but for some reasons i changed my mind ngeeheeee

3. i spend my 2K in 2 days.bukan beli baju,kasut atau bag.ntah ape2 je aku beli..haish

4. play badminton every monday till new semester starts.its better than no exercise at all.

5. i dont know how to diet.brief me

6. minor headache at least twice a day

7. i think i fall in love with him again :)..its a bad thing actually hahaha

8. i normally dont have the chance to give my parents sum of money.sbb aku kan tacukup duit slalu but when i did last week,u should see the look on their face.they were touched.because i know they dont have enuff money since we renovate this shah alam house and the cost were nearly 100k.and i spent 2k buying unnecessary junk T__T i should give my money to them more often.

Wishlist. Tagged by Baiti

tagged by baiti..lama je aku ta post entry.nnt aku sambung yg lain bile aku da ade mood ok.

1. Blackberry Bold 9000.

2. Gucci Monogram sling bag

3. Flight ticket to Bandung

4. Unlimited amount of money

5. Marc Jacobs Pear perfume

6. Trip to tioman with family

7. iMAC laptop

who can grant my wishes.i'll love u foreverrrrrr

tagging
-tatum
-farra
- N
- Rina
- Hezrin

wtf wtf

1.i slept last night and i woke up around 1-2 am.i saw an unclear figure.its like a standing bolster stood still near the room door.i close my eyes because i thought i was dreaming n told myself maybe my sister put another bolster at the wall.then i opened my eyes again..that figure was still there.so i rubbed my eyes a few times to make sure it wasnt my imagination.then i closed my eyes again...opened it once again n its still there.then i thought 'oh shit...takan pocong kot.babi laaa' i recite some surah..mana2 la yg aku igt till i fell half asleep.when my sister changed her sleep position (i sleep with my sister since another sister is back at UiTM) i woke her up n told her to switch on the light.when the room is semi lighten,i opened my eyes again and yes,nothing is near the wall neither hanging at the door.so im fucked and back to sleep.seram la babi

2.this morning, i rushed to Sek19 to pick up my lil brother.he's back from Kedah.bought nasik lemak for him n myself.reached home,ate bfast and watched tv.my bro do the chores(hehehe..) and im in the living room watching 'the last days of Elvis on E! channel.so chores done (oh yeah i was supposed to be at work..but biasa la bos2 tade ngular la jap hehehe) and he fall asleep on the couch.while i was watching CSI:NY someone press the bell.since im in the living room,i only turned back to see who's at the gate.and yeah...no one at the gate but someone did press the bell.definately not my neighbours,they're working.definately not the school kids bcz it was only 11am and if there were school kids outside,i wudve hear their footstep.(yes the living room and gate is only about fews steps away)

my house is haunted wtf.bcz those werent the only incidents.i was at home due to mengular-ing almost everyday.and whenever im at home alone,i heard someone is walking or running on 2nd floor.i heard furniture being moved few times,i even heard someone is in the kitchen.its spooky.and i hate it.i usually dont sleep with lights off bcz im afraid of the dar but after few weeks,i got used to it.and now..im not gonna switch off the light.wtf aku mcm nampak pocong kt ujung katil..babi betul.haih..seriously its freaking me out.

tagged by N

Last phone call

• i dont remember.not in the mood to remember pun
  

Last text message

• smtg personal.cant be disclose.
  

Last time you cried

• when my grandfather passed away last sunday and continuosly few days after that
  

HAVE YOU EVER:

Dated someone twice

• hahaha never.
  

Been cheated

• yes...kot
  

Kissed someone & regretted it

• this one,def yes
  

Lost someone special

• ade la kot.
  

IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU:

Fallen out of love

• sadly no.i was hoping so much for a yes
  

Laughed until you cried

• i laugh a lot but cant remember if i ever laugh till i cry
  

Met someone who changed your life

• so far, some of them did.but ntg major
  

Found out someone was talking about you

• not at the moment.
  

How many people on your top friends do you know in real life?

• i dont have many friends.so most them i know i real life except those in fb la haha
  

How many kids do you want to have?

• 3 kids. eldest is a boy,then girl, then boy.the girl will be protected by the brothers
  

Do u have any pets?

• used to.
  

Do you want to change your name?

• nah..i like my name.
  

What time did you wake up today?

• 7.10am..mom started to nag me and i dont like it
  

What were you doing at midnight last night?

• got into an argument and off to bed
  

Name something you cannot wait for?

• another trip to...anywhere la.
  

Last time you saw your father

• last night.
  

What's one thing you wish you could change

• certain things in my life.i wanna fix it a lil bit here n there so i wud have a bright future wtf
  

What's getting on your nerves right now

• whoever gossip me with someone i dont like...in a wrong way.cuba la kau bahan aku dgn org yg aku suka
  

Elementary/Primary School

• SKPK
  

Middle/Secondary School

• RZ.
  

Hair color

• black
  

Long or short

• consider short
  

Want kids?

• asik tanye benda yg sama.
  

Want to get married?

• tgk la mcmana...but not at the moment.prolly will start to tink abt it in 2-3 years lagi
  

HAVE YOU EVER :

Kissed a stranger

• no la...gila ape
  

Lost glasses/contacts

• once.
  

Ran away from home

• no la....my house is the safest place to be
  

Broken someone's heart

• yeah..n not proud of it
  

Been arrested

• 2 or 3 times but got away
  

Cried when someone died

• just did last week.
  

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :

Is there one person you want to be with right now?

• yeah..but why wanna hope much when u know u cant? :)
  

Do you believe in God?

• berjuta kali tanya soalan yg sama..yes la
  

i was very busy last week

- organizing a blood donation event
- tests n quizzes
- overcome a broken hearted (cewaaahhh padahal tade pe pun haha)

event succeed.deputy dean said we organized the event pretty well.we reached the target...well at least for blood donors.my sister took part in both health talk and blood donation.fie came late and since her biggest fear is any kind of injections,she backed out the very last minute.

i was so tired til im not tired anymore.i didnt get enuff sleep the night before,some problem came at the same time.i cudnt cope with that anymore.i dont eat less.mkn kene mcm biasa kalo tamakan bole mati ok.haha

basically this week i was left alone by my close friends for reasons.not feeling well and having a vacation.da la tgh serabut cam haram...tade org nateman minum sap rokok lg...huh.but im glad one of my friend is trying to hard to face something painful with a fake smile.she's trying very hard tho...im proud of her.to be honest,if i go thru the same thing she's facing now..i'd be helpless and probably depressed and consume pills hahaha i know myself.but i'll try not to be.my situation is nothing compare to hers.so i think she is very strong :)

Let's move on :)
for the sake of everybody.
and fuck them haters
people who judge are everywhere

jom cuba lagi fairuz
lama2 mesti kau da biasa
kita cuba lagi~
cuba untuk sedar diri
cuba untuk terima kenyataan
hmmm bagus bagus
mampus la ape2 pun
janji cuba
lalalalalala~

aku rindu kat N
aku rindu kat fie
aku rindu dia jugak
aku rindu adik aku
aku rindu Ryan
aku rindu ct
rindu ramai org neh...ape nabuat
masa da tade
duit pun tade
ape la papa kedana

everything looks so gloomy these days huh?dimana kah cahaya matahari wey....raksasa damakan mcm dlm cite ultraman ke?haih...makin hari makin ting tong kau neh fairuz

2 shocking news last week

1. a close friend is getting married and we werent informed..yet
2. another friend is marrying a total stranger which she've known for 2 weeks.(she used to be very patient n so much in love with her previous guy.i guess she got sick by his response)

1. To whom it may concern (i know u re reading this)

i hope u re happy with ur decision and ur wife-to-be.wlupon aku agak marah kat kau,aku harap kau bahagia la..terkilan aku tatau pe2 n terkejut bila tau.dan stop cari 'dia' lg.we dont want any problems in future.she will try to overcome the sudden changes.kau kwn aku..die pun kwn aku.we just want the best for both of u...lets not make it hard for her.continue with ur life and dont regret.try to make the best out of it.

i know i do sound ridiculous but im seriously dissapointed with u.but aku tabole la na emo sgt kan....biase la pompuan..mesti na emo lebey.tp aku tatau na b happy ke atau na marah.mcm tapercaya je da nakawin kan?cuma jgn la buat kwn2 mcm ni...tetibe je kitorg tau dr mulut org lain..n tetibe je kau da na kawin.perasaan happy tu campur marah campur terkilan.hal kau ngan dia tu..korang settle sndiri eh....jgn kacau dia da lps neh...igt kau tu title akan jadi laki org.ape pun..tahniah sbb akan mengakhiri zaman bujang. :D


2. My lady,i know u re reading this.
jgn buat keputusan masa marah.u will regret it soon or later.i know u love him and i know he loves u too.cuma skrg tgh byk masalah.remember u plan to marry him and he will be the father of ur kids?make it happen.aku da tgk contoh org yg buat keputusan masa marah and i dont want it to happen to u.he's a lil confuse now,trust me.bukan die na sgt break up dgn kau pun.he told me that :) ape pun,make a wise decision.im here if u need me.guna otak jgn ikut sgt hati kau tu...

High School~

IN YOUR SENIOR YEAR...
1. Did you date someone from your school?
:: No. I was in girls school

2. Did you marry someone from your high school?
:: Hahahaha no

3. Did you car pool to school?
:: No. Dad drive me to school.sbnrnye umah dekat je pun..biasa la anak manja

4. What kind of car did you have?
:: My first car was Red Kancil that my mom bought for herself to travel from Port Klang to Shah Alam. I started driving when i work in Shah Alam 4 years ago

5. What kind of car do you have now?
:: I dont own a car.mom's Gold Kelisa

6. It's Friday night...where are you now?
:: Prolly outside lepaking with my friends.aku kan tade life haha.

7. It's Friday night...where were you then?
:: at home.i was a good kid back then.tp tunggu la mlm sket...i wud sneak out and off with my peeps haha

8. What kind of job did you have in high school?
:: tade keje...belajar pun malas.sbb tu la jd mcm neh skang wtf

9. What kind of job do you do now?
:: imma clerk cum PA to japanese directors.huh tp buat keje mcm aku yg director wtf

10. Were you a party animal?
:: ehehehe i was.now no more..kinda sick of living that kinda life.sampai bila mau huha huha

11. Were you considered a flirt?
:: Of cz not.lelaki tasuke aku la

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
:: tade.sbb i dont take part in any school activites.aku kan pemonteng segala class haha

13. Were you a nerd?
:: Hahahaha a ah la sgt.

14. Did you get suspended or expelled?
:: skrg br cam terfikir..i broke many rules but never get suspended.paling kuat aku kene panggil dgn cikgu disiplin.and teachers love me man :)

15. Can you sing the fight song?
:: ape saje la soalan neh

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)?
:: My favourite teacher was....i dont really remember their name hahaha

17. Where did you sit during lunch?
:: in class.bcz i get to play sick and skipped after-lunch assembly.aku kan drama queen sket

18. What was your school's full name?
:: Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Raja Zarina Pelabuhan Klang.

19. When did you graduate?
:: lupa la...was it on 2002?

20. What was your school mascot?
:: huh...mana la aku na igt...mende tah

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
:: nah....kalo minus belajar maybe la kot.when i was young i used to have a LOT of money.but then again...no thanks.i was really bad back then...tanak

22. Did you have fun at Prom?
:: We didn’t have Prom in Malaysia<- i second that lalalala~

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with?
:: Next!

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion?
:: i usually dont have the time to do so.

25. Do you still talk to people from school?
:: Only a few of them.

26. School Colors?
::Mostly light blue...or was it yellow?ntah hahahaha

27. What celebrities came from your high school?
:: Err...sbnr nya masa sekolah aku mana kenal org...org yg kenal aku...so i have no idea

Tagged

Complete these sentences:

1. My ex-boyfriend... is a fucken jerk
   
2. I am listening to... Jatuh Cinta lagi by Matta
   
3. Maybe I should... go on a diet.i have to
   
4. I like learning... kickboxing
   
5. My best friend(s)... is someone who knows me very well
   
6. I don't understand... why i like him bloody hell much
   
7. I lost... something precious in life
   
8. Many people said... they know me well.well..they dont,trust me
   
9. The meaning of my name..bluish green diamond.
   
10. Love is... for me losing ur mind slowly,it kills and it cures at the same time
    
11. I a place called...loser?ape ni tapaham la
    
12. I will try... earn more and more money and make myself n others happy.
    
13. The meaning of "forever"... is bullshit
    
14. My handphone... is a black sexy Z610i
    
15. I am very annoyed... with people who boast around,who think they are all that and who think they know it all.oh yeah...who accuse other people for stupid things that they do
    
16. Whenever I wake up from sleep... cari phone n tgk kalo ade sms from the encik comel
    
17. Party is...not really my thing.sick of it
    
18. The cutest animal ... snow wolf
    
19. The best age... is when i dont need to worry about a single thing in life.
    
20. I felt tension today... because i dont feel comfortable with myself
    
21. tonight i will try...to get myself a good sleep.i dont sleep well for months already
    
22. when i look at myself in the mirror this morning... i saw a monster with a fat body and weep regretting for eating too much
    
23. Shopping mall...is a place for me to spend on food.
    
24. fast food are usually... fattening and yummy
    
25. Last sentence to a person... aku ok laaaaaa
    
26. Who to tag... farra,tatum n N
    

PD was fun.i had fun.great company,good food and good times.eventho it was just for 2 days.i crave for more vacation.since i have cancelled few trips to Redang due to some problems,i was thinking to hit the nearest vacation spot soon enuff.i had few places in mind but i wouldnt wanna go on vacations alone.firstly,because i dont know any other places than shah alam or klang.secondly,i jz dont wanna alone.it'll make me appear as if i have a sad life wtf wtf.

we started off with the plan yg konon2 nye gerak at 8am.but since biasa la..benda ta jangka kan..sume gerak around 10am.reached there around 12 smtg.after that everyone was busy with the preparation for bbq.me latif n ct off to buy groceries and cake for adul's belated bday celebration afterwards.then berlaku la adegan emo2/nabalik/marah2 bagai.mood agak potong sket la..org sibuk2 cari barang namasak kau sibuk emo plak..and i swear to God,the weather was very hot...and its not a good thing for me.wlupon aku hyper pada mula nya...aku akan beep merah mcm ultraman klu cuaca terlalu panas.tu pon potong mood jugak

then tolong yana masak...tolong jaga ryan...tolong bahan org...so far it was fun.lps mkn ade acara tukar2 hadiah...na tau aku dpt pe? feather duster dgn brg2 menjahit...cis.then a surprise cake for adul...then masing2 balik bilik..rehat sikit..off to the beach.fuh....best berow...seen the boys chase each other nak baling dlm laut...then there was a voice:

letchumi(sbnrnya aku tatau pun nama dia haha) : SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!!!
me: huh?? mende mende? (then saw big wave and 2 kids almost drown)

and since latiff n lan were next to me,i was looking for latiff la kan...he is the safety officer.he know cpr,he can swim very well bcz he used to duduk dlm kapal for many years...then manatau when i turned around nasuruh die pi tgk,rupa2 nye die da tade.die da pegi dulu hahaha
gila pantas tindakan die...aku cam risau gak la kan...kang jadi pe2 pulak...tapasal je na mengadap boss.memula masa the boys main agak jauh tu aku da risau da..sbb ombak besar.aku sndiri main di gigi2 air takut lemas hehehe

then after a while latiff da naik mata suda merah,die suda letih die ckp budak tu tekan die...then aku tgk ade yg da naik...indian guy,condition pun ok cuma penat je.they brought another kid naik...aku tgk da berbuih da.latiff kate budak tu da byk minum air laut...they didnt do cpr...dorang je tumbuk2 perut so die bole muntahkan air...he did la..but the crowd made a stupid move by giving him a mineral water.wtf weyyy mane kau belajar tu...haish...yg aku tau budak tu da lembik...tatau hidup ke ta...mlm nye tu kata hidup lg tp kat hospital.

at night pulak...sessi memasak bersama latiff.aku kene paksa masak nasik wtf.then smoke quite alot.i restrict myself to smoke when adul,adul's fiance.angah's family were around.nnt disrespect them pulak..tabest.lps depa balik...huh jadi naga la aku.gang indian ptg td tu sume buat party...i slept around 3.30am lepas layan bebudak tu main card.

a lot of things happened.teringat kat dia jugak but aku mamposkan je.anas ngan ct pun ade improvement.many good things compared to bad things.so overall this trip was fun.satu je cam gampang...bathroom die.cam sial n air karat...geli aku.

next trip bbq in fraser hill :)

Berckp dgn hati sndiri

aisehhh
pleeeeeeaaaaaaaasseeeeeee la fairuz
tolooooong la move on
nape namenyakitkan ati sndiri
kau pandai nasihat org
skang cuba kau buat sndiri
tabole?
cuba lagi la
tabole lg?
cuba la byk2 kali
mcmana kau na move on kalo kau asik jumpa & ckp dgn dia

taperlu mabuk2 ni
taperlu amik benda2 yg tabagus utk bdn
taperlu menyakitkan bdn
taperlu tu sume

kau kan kuat...
kau kan ade kwn2 lain...
kau kan taperlu benda2 mengarut ni sume
bole kan?
kuat sikit je lg...
tolong la...sikit je lagi.

aku dapenat melayan perangai kau neh fairuz
klu org asik ckp tp kau tanak dgr taguna jugak
ye..tau...sakitkan?
sape suruh tanak dgr org ckp dulu
padan la muka
da la tu....
sedih je sap rokok byk2
sedih je buat benda bukan2
cuba bagi kerjasama skit
aku sorang je buat keje tajadi bai...
kita cuba lagi ok :)

pissed off

i dont know whats up wit dad lately
he gets mad at every single thing
he yelled,he raise his voice for no particular reason
what is the problem anyway???

it pisses me off bcz he tends to snap at everyone in the house
it pisses me off bcz he make things such a big deal
it pisses me off when those things can be explained in a proper tone
and i hate to hear my brothers n sisters talk abt him
but sometimes he didnt even consider our feelings esp moms'

semua mende namarah2
ckp elok2 tabole ke ape?
tau la ade kuasa veto kan
tp it wont hurt klu ckp baik2 ke ape
ni sume najerit2
huh...dr ta angin terus jd angin

isshhhhh geram nye aku neh
klu tegur kang jd gado pulak....
aihhhhh payah betul la

fairuz...fairuz...jgn jadi anak derhaka
layankan je la...
buat tadgr suda...

**please take note aku bukan memburukan bapak aku.ini cuma dissatisfaction.kadang2 tabole na luahkan guna mulut.aku sayang bapak aku tp biasa la...mesti la ade adegan2 bapa guna kuasa veto kan...layankan je la fairuz..

entry emo.abaikan

aku tatau nape kau na moody tapasal dgn aku
bole pegi mampos!

kepada honda burok kat roundabout sek 16 pagi ari khamis tu
i sumpah kau mati accident
sbb u almost got me into another big trouble
lain kali kalo aku dakasi signal,berenti kasi aku lalu
besides mmg kau patut berenti pun
bukan nye sesuka ati kau slow2 mcm pukimak kat situ
lps tu buat tatau kehadiran kereta aku
nasib baik aku na cepat
dan mmg bagus la perangai & budi bahasa kau bila sikit pun tade angkat tgn
tade mintak maaf ke ape
perangai mcm pukimak
semoga kau mati.tq

kepada KWSP
sila process claim aku cpt sket
aku da tade duit neh

dan terima kasih la byk2
kat 'kwn2' aku
terima kasih la sbb tikam blakang aku
lps ni kau tgk
aku akan kasi balik berkali ganda
pendendam?
mmg aku pendendam
sila jgn pandang rendah wlupon aku rendah.tq

aku tatau ape masalah perempuan yg suka menyendeng dgn lelaki
duit?
keseronokan?
perhatian?
ataupun suka-suka?
aku tau kalo yg tacantik,mungkin die takut tade lelaki suka
ni yg cantik,tapi kurang menggunakan otak
sbb kau menyusahkan org kau tau x?
kau tau x kau nmpk murah?
lg2 kalo kau kuat sgt menyendeng dgn bf/laki org
cari la bf kau sndiri sial
dan lelaki pun tolong la guna 9 akal yg ada
sbb soon or later kau akan menyusahkan idup aku
faham?
wlupon kau takan baca blog aku
i'll make sure i'll tell right in front of ur face

and no, aku taperlukan perhatian sesapa pun
i can live my life just fine
without u or ur stupid friends.
jgn cuba rasuah aku
sbb aku akan betray kau blk nnt
maruah aku tabole beli dgn duit :)
unlike some ppl

entry ni satu summary apa yg berlaku sepanjang minggu.tade nama yg disebut,jgn gatal burit perasan aku tulis psl kau.

Desperate and stupid

muka aku neh desperate sgt ke smpi kebykan lelaki claimed yg aku suka kat dorang????
muka aku neh nmpk terdesak gile ke nacari lelaki utk dijadikan bf???
aku akan tunjuk perangai aku kt org yg betul2 rapat or to whom im comfortable with
and that includes perangai baran aku,perangai mengada2 aku n manja aku
TAPI aku bukan nye melebih2
and aku rase yg rapat dgn aku tau perangai aku
TAPI nape suka nackp aku admire la,suka la ape la wtf
just because i dont have bf for few years doesnt mean im attracted to every single guy i hang out wit

tolong la faham
kadang2 aku melawak dgn korang
not that i have a crush on u ke ape wtf
hish..rimas kau tau
cam sial je

ni aku natanya lg

muka aku ni nmpk bodoh sgt ke smpi kau kene tipu aku???
kau rase aku neh terlalu muda sgt ke smpi kau rase aku takan tau kau tipu aku??
dan kalo pun kau rase aku neh bodoh,
tolong tipu aku dgn cara cerdik sikit
aku cukup menyampah kalo yg tipu aku neh kalangan kwn2 sndiri
kalo pun aku ni ada SPM je dan bukan diploma or degree holder
jgn underestimate aku
bcz im beyond ur expectation
i can sense it when u lie to me
dan kau akan nmpk bodoh gila kat mata aku
kau akan nmpk lg bodoh bila muka kau beriya2 menipu dan aku tau kau menipu aku
kau akan nmpk maha bodoh bila aku reverse balik penipuan kau dan kau akan terdiam
ataupun kau akan kantoikan diri kau sndiri bila kau terlupa yg kau penah menipu aku

and one more thing,
tolong la
kalo kau rase aku neh tabole dipercayai,
dont tell me ur secrets.
because im pretty sure im not the only one who keep ur secrets
bila benda tu terbongkar kau akan tuduh aku

bila kau gado ngan bf/gf kau TOLONG JANGAN drag aku skali dlm pergadohan kau
wlupon aku rapat dgn gf/bf kau,
aku takan jd batu api ataupun bakar2 line kasi kau begado besar dgn ur partner
lgpun kwn2 aku akan back up aku balik
so jgn la tekejut kalo kau suka2 babit2 kan aku bila kau gado
n ur partner decided to dump u because of me
aku takan masuk campur selagi aku rase taperlu
i can listen to ur prob and advise u when it is necessary
TAPI i wont tell u what to do
ur relationship ur decision
jgn nasalahkan aku pulak nnt if my friend decided to choose me,and not u

pukimak2 ni semua tolong la jgn nasusahkan idup aku dgn masalah yg kau buat
aku tamasuk campur selagi kau ta babitkan aku
tolong jgn jd pukimak seumur hidup
sila sedar sblm tade sape nakawan ngan kau sbb perangai kau mcm haram

i have a friend
who is currently very much in love with a guy
previously,he was so into her
but she couldnt get over her past eventho she had feelings for him
he confessed,he got rejected
he stayed positive and he kept on trying
a couple year of ups and downs
they were sort of falling apart
after arguments and fights
after gone thru good and bad times
he choosed to let it go
and she finally realised that no one could love her like he did
she confessed,and this time she got rejected
because she made a mistake by dragging it too long
and now,he moved on
but she refuse to face the fact that he belongs to someone else now
she put a big smile on her face everytime she reads his sms
a big smile everytime he says good night

last night i told her not to fly too high
i told her that it is okay to make herself happy
but she shouldnt deny the fact that he is not hers anymore
i told her to accept the fact
and i told her,if she wants to change the fact
she have to fight for it
to fight, she have to be prepared for any consequences
to fight, she have to bend down her huge ego
if it didnt work out,at least already she try her best

and i guess it breaks her heart to hear that
but as one of my close friends,
i hate to see u cry urself to sleep

to u-know-who-u-are (eventho u dont read my blog)
i wish u all the best in every attempt to win his heart
try harder each time u fail
and just be urself
because we love u the way u are
im here to listen and to support
good luck my friend

Last

this might be my last emo post
i dont wanna bore u wit my pathetic sad life stories
i will continue writing it in the other private blog

lgpun this is supposed to be a public blog
kalo aku tulis mcm2 kang stalkers amik point plak
aku namarah da tabole sbb ni public blog kan
tp mampos la ape2 pun

i cant believe i eat so little these days
mom made my most fave asam pedas the other day
n bcz i craved for it long ago,aku mkn satu pinggan je
and dad asked why i ate so little,i just smiled

i had an argument wt si siamang a.k.a my youngest sister
i admit i was being harsh when she was just trying to give me an advice
i wasnt really in the mood last week
so i got pissed and let it out on her instead
yeah,i feel bad
because she wont talk to me till now
and the fact that i wasnt home most of the time
i see her less and no talking,at all
i miss wrestling session with her

update:
i was out wit ct n anas last nite
i go out pratically every nite because i dont wanna b at home
we talked n laughed
but i wasnt feeling okay so i kept on crapping

siti wished me good nite,sleept tight and sweet dreams
thank you
i had a very sweet dream last nite
eventho it was only a dream
i know it wont happen in real life haha

u know i feel bad falling for someone wrong
i mean not bcz of his attitude of course
i jz tink it is wrong to fall for him
da la die pun menjalani hidup mcm biasa
i dont tink he even know that i exist
aku neh angan2 je lebey

and i was thinking of telling him wat i feel abt him
u know,jz to get over this 2 year's stupid feeling
so that i can finally move on
but i dont tink i ever have the guts to do so
it will definately ruin the friendship
i dont want that
tp kau rase patut ke?mcm tapatut ckp je kan

i was supposed to update on my cameron trip but too lazy to do so
bukan mls ape
kalo aku kuarkan gmbr kat sini tapasal je jd issue
buat kt private blog sudey

pls god,
bagi la balik nafsu utk menikmati mknan mcm dulu
wlupon aku nakurus,tp aku da tabole blah
kembang tekak tiap2 kali aku tgk org mkn
yg jugak membuatkan aku tanak mkn lngsung skrg neh

it didnt get my mind off him

1.What do you think of the most when you are alone?
:: i tink abt who to go out with for a drink,i tink abt money most of my time, i tink abt my family and him.

2. When it is a rainy night, what do you do most of the time?
:: last time before i move to shah alam,i used to sleep when it is raining and a lil afraid of the thunder.now,i dont care anymore cz once im in my room,i dont know if its raining or not,and i dont know if its morning or still at night.

3. When was the last time you were out?
:: with friends or without? 2 days ago.with ct.off to the curve wlupon tatau jln.tgk movie,went for food hunting.mkn cam babi.pegi ikea for swedish meatball n bought whole daim cake.at night out for a drink wt latif n angah.

4. What do you do when you see a full moon?
:: honestly,nothing.but i look up n see if i can see any star

5. Would you rather swim in the lake or dive in the ocean?
:: lake will be fine.i dont know how to swim.but i got over another fear last year.i did snorkeling in perhentian

6. What would be the best partner of a good cup of coffee?
:: Dunhill Light.coffee + rokok = marvellous

7. If you'll ask yourself a question now, what would it be?
:: why cant i be like her? - i know its not right but kau tanye aku jawab je

8. If certain things in your life will fall apart, what will you do?
:: at the moment i tink i'll just let it fall

9. Favourite month/s?
:: i dont have any fave month.klu ade pun december sbb aku dpt bonus.lain2 sume same je bagi aku

10. When your friends forget you, what will you do?
:: if close friends forget me,i'll ask myself why.if kwn tah mane2 na lupe,pegi la mampos.

11. Do you talk to yourself?
:: i talk to myself a lot.sometimes i ask myself a lot of question.lps tu mula la pening nak jawab..

12. Is there anything that you are craving for right now?
:: nothing.can u even believe that?aku ni kuat mkn tetibe tanak mkn pe2 pun skrg.

13. Do you like someone right now?
:: very...damn much

14.Ever cried for something stupid?
:: penah la gile...most of it were some stupid things.tp bia la aku na nangis pun

15. Do you like animal?
:: bole la...tp aku tareti na jaga.mati binatang tu nnt

16. What type of music do you listen to?
:: it depends.skrg ni aku suka dgr slow songs...lagu putus cinta la,lagu pegi mati la...and i love hip hop & rap songs.oh byk la but most of the time it depends on my mood

17. Do you have any regret?
:: lots of em.

19. First thing you do after watching a movie?
:: memberi ulasan secara langsung such as 'pergh nape ending cam babi?' 'sial betul cite neh' atau pun 'wahhh comel nyeeeeee'

20. Do you wash the dishes in your house?
:: nah..im not home most of the time.either mom or my sisters will do that

21. Can you last two days without a shower?
:: bole je...takisah pun.

22. Most common words in your house
.:: ntah la..aku bukan kat umah pun

23. The last lie you told someone?
:: that i dont any feelings for him

25. Still go to the mall with your parents?
:: sometimes.my parents dont really go to the mall

26. Are you brand conscious?
:: nah

27. Ever fell in-love?
:: fell in,fall out n currently falling stupidly in love.aiyo

28. What time is it?
:: 5.45pm.i was supposed to get ready for class but i dont feel like going

29. where are you?
:: in the office.

30. Is it in you to kill someone?
:: mesti la bodo

31. Daydream a lot?
:: these days i daydream alot

32. Happy with your life?
:: nah..but im always grateful that my family is there for me no matter wat.

33. What do you want more than anything right now?
:: kalo aku ckp mesti korang da bosan kan? aku nak die la..seriously and i want alot of money.and...i know it is not right but i wanted to be like her,so much.yeah i have a very low self esteem.

34. Is there anything that makes you happy?
:: money,family,close friends and him (expected huh)

35.What's the biggest advice you've been given?
:: currently friends n sisters told me to get over him.

i need help

suggestions on how to get over a broken hearted
i need it seriously
everyone is welcome

no bad comment pls

to that someone,
i love u
but pls,just go away

let me heal la bloody mazafakaaaaaaa!!!!!
hish susah betul