Faded,not

i thought the feeling slowly faded away
i thought i could get over him
i thought i wouldnt miss him anymore
i thought i could move on
because i know, i never had him

but
why do i feel sad
why do i get so depressed
why do i have to be jealous
why do i feel worthless, just because i cant have him

i dont wanna feel this way everyday.
i hate to have this low self esteem issue
i wanna be grateful to be what i am
but seriously, what am i?

P/S : Farra, 'he' is not who u think he is :)