L.O.V.E

How do u define love?
How do u know that u're in love?

i used to define my love stories as a sad song.i still define it that way.as i grow i learn that not everything goes the way we want it to be.sometimes u need to sacrifice,u need to feel what it is like to be heart broken,u need to see someone else gets hurt because of u and sometimes u need to be selfish,just to make sure u wont do the same mistake twice.i have learn so many things in life which related to what we called -LOVE

everyone deserved to love and to be loved.no matter what is their size,their looks,how smart or stupid or how popular or the other way around.these days,u hardly find someone who appreaciate u for who u are.probably none out of 10.these days people are selfish,so selfish that they tend to hurt people around them.

i have friends who were married and there are various of stories..some got cheated by their bfs,betrayed by the husband and vice versa.when i listens to their confessions,their complains,their sad hums,it makes me think twice to have a relationship.i seriously have nothing against guys,male by gender.but i find them are quite heartless.some are very cruel.it sadden me to see those who couldnt pick up themselves after a fall.they got hurt and they think it is too hard to handle that they tend to end it in an easy way-commit suicide.

I,as one of those people who hardly pick themselves up after a fall.i find it so difficult to face the emotions.i used to have a really hard times to get over it.that is why when it comes to relationship,when it comes to the thought of having romantic partner,i always think hundreds of time when it comes to commitment.i have this fear of being left alone,the fear of getting hurt too much that would lead me to do dumb stuffs.Unlike other people,i dont do confessions,i dont do crying in front of friends or family and i dont express my sad feeling to other people.even to those i trusted.because i know,once they found out they figure one of my weaknesses.and i dont like that.i dont like people to see my weaknesses when i happen to appear positive in front of them.i dont like people to show their sympathy because when they does that,i feel so much like a loser.and when my haters see me that way,they would probably threw a party to celebrate the winnings.in short,i hate face to face confessions when it comes to feelings.

i guess this is an emo post.but who cares..its my blog anyway.

i miss him being him.because i feel so alive when he is around :)