since the laptop is still in the room,i ve decided to post an entry.just to jolt down something..something in my mind.been bothering my bloody week.long ago,since in my teenage years until now(cewah cam da tua plak)...i thought i have bestfriends,i thought i have some close friends.but NONE of them were there when i really needed them.even if they were,they dont really help.do i sound selfish?NO,i dont.well..maybe they do help..or maybe i dont let them.i dont know BUT i know that no one is there when i need them.i tend to keep everything to myself.i dont do confessions and i dont whine about hows life been treating me.okay,maybe i have..but not too much.i hate it when people think they know me so well and tell the whole world that they are my bestfriends.i just realise i dont really have bestfriends.i hate being the one who cry herself to sleep this whole bloody week for no particular reasons.Haya told me i always pretend that im fine when im not.she told me i should let it out,so i could at least breathe again.but then again,to whom?someone im comfortable with?i dont really have that someone.i hate being alone,by myself not knowing what to do or where to go.im a very negative person,im paranoid.everytime i fag..i always think about some negative stuff,happened and about to happene or will never happen.i sometimes imagine myself gone totally insane if my family is not around anymore.u know,since family never betray..i never knew what will happen to me if they're gone.im not an independant kinda girl.im dependable,i dont do stuff on my own.i need someone to help me.i remember when i involved in 2 accidents last year,the 1st person i call wud be my dad.who do i share my daily stories and routines?wud be my parents.but i dont share my sadness with them.i dont share my love stories with them.anyway,to avoid me being all stupid thinking about all those negative stuff,i occupy myself with 2 new books that i bought yday's evening.i havent been reading for years already,i jz started around last year and it excites me.i must buy at least 2 or 3 books to make sure i dont have to cry in order to have a nice sleep at nite.
the heck....i dont know what have i confessed but i feel a lilttle better now.watever.dont feel like checking all the grammer or even the entry.
latest book bought
Tell Me Why,Mummy by David Thomas - based on true story (oh i love these based-on-true-story books)
Remember Me? by Sophie Kinsella - addicted to her writing after reading her 'Can You Keep A Secret?)
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